1. (via megec)

    2. 3 months ago 5,800 notes

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    3. 3 months ago 36 notes

  3. megec:

    Drew Barrymore in Beauty and the Beast
    Photographed by Annie Leibovitz
    Vogue, April 2005

    4. 3 months ago 50 notes
  4. text
    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!) So Psyche just got out of the underworld, and she’s carrying a box full of Persephone’s magic beauty cream for Aphrodite. Curious to see if this anti-aging quackery actually works, she opens the box, only to find that it is actually more dangerous than Botox, for it brings an enchanted slumber upon her.Conveniently, Eros is in the neighborhood, and, knowing all she’s gone through by this point, he’s forgiven her entirely. He wakes her with a kiss (the tried and true method for breaking sleeping enchantments) and then heads off to Mount Olympus to request that Zeus hold a council of the gods to decide their fate.The consensus is that that poor girl has been through enough, now let’s let her join our club! So Psyche is brought to Olympus and made immortal, and Aphrodite finally gets the hell over it, and everyone lives happily after after and makes babies. THE END.(Also: Psyche has wings here because as a member of the God Club, she’s the personification of the soul and apparently that has something to do with having butterfly wings.*)*You don’t need to explain the connection to me. I did my research.

    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!)

    So Psyche just got out of the underworld, and she’s carrying a box full of Persephone’s magic beauty cream for Aphrodite. Curious to see if this anti-aging quackery actually works, she opens the box, only to find that it is actually more dangerous than Botox, for it brings an enchanted slumber upon her.

    Conveniently, Eros is in the neighborhood, and, knowing all she’s gone through by this point, he’s forgiven her entirely. He wakes her with a kiss (the tried and true method for breaking sleeping enchantments) and then heads off to Mount Olympus to request that Zeus hold a council of the gods to decide their fate.

    The consensus is that that poor girl has been through enough, now let’s let her join our club! So Psyche is brought to Olympus and made immortal, and Aphrodite finally gets the hell over it, and everyone lives happily after after and makes babies. THE END.

    (Also: Psyche has wings here because as a member of the God Club, she’s the personification of the soul and apparently that has something to do with having butterfly wings.*)

    *You don’t need to explain the connection to me. I did my research.

    5. 3 months ago 3 notes
  5. text
    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!) Longest description yet! Bear with me, lots of stuff is happening!After marathoning Desperate Housewives while eating an entire tub of ice cream, Psyche decides to get down to business and find Eros. She goes to the temple of Ceres, sees that it’s a mess, and cleans that shit up. The goddess Ceres appears, and she’s appreciative and all, but explains that she can’t help Psyche because Aphrodite still has a beef with her, and sometimes the gods like to actually avoid drama amongst themselves for a change.Psyche finds Juno at her temple and gets the same response. In fact, Juno warns her, Aphrodite is offering people a reward to go out and find her, presumably so she can call her a fugly slut to her face.It isn’t long before someone does manage to find Psyche and bring her to Aphrodite, who indeed calls her a fugly slut and beats her up for a bit. Then she tells Psyche she can only be forgiven if she completes a number of impossible tasks. No big deal, right?The first task is to separate a mass of scattered grains by nightfall. Psyche contemplates the consequences of just giving up and eating another tub of ice cream while marathoning RuPaul’s Drag Race, but a colony of ants, sympathetic to her plight, come and help her organize the mess grain-by-grain, and the task is completed on time.Aphrodite is like, INCONCEIVABLE!!! but goes on to explain the next impossible task: cross yonder river to that there forest full of bloodthirsty golden sheep and get me some of their blinged-out fleece. Oh, and they will kill you.But a little reed in the river offers her some advice: go at night, when the sheep are sleeping, and instead of taking the wool directly from them, take that which hangs on the thickets and bushes in the forest. Psyche does this, and brings back some blinged-out fleece to Aphrodite, who by this point really should reconsider her overuse of the word “impossible.”But she is persistent! Next, she tells Psyche to get a vial of water from the springs that feed the rivers Styx and Cocytus. Oh and btw, it’s guarded by dragons that never sleep.Blah blah blah, an eagle fills the vial for her, task is completed, blah etc.Aphrodite is about to explode. She tries to think of a really good task, one that will certainly end in death. The underworld is a good choice, right? People nevercome back from the underworld in myths, right? She tells Psyche to go to the underworld and bring back a box of Persephone’s beauty for her. (It’s like Botox, except less poisonous!)So Psyche has a moment of Stupid and decides that the easiest way to the underworld is to kill herself, so she climbs up to the top of a tower and prepares to throw herself off. But the tower itself speaks to her in the voice of Sassy Gay Friend: “WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU STUPID BITCH” and explains how to get in and out of the underworld unscathed, because inanimate things are apparently full of useful information.So she follows the tower’s directions, goes through some tunnel somewhere, and finds Charon, the ferryman of the river into the underworld. She pays him, and they go on their merry way, and she throws a bag of food to Cerberus so she won’t get mauled.Then she meets Hades and Persephone, and they have a nice dinner together, except Psyche denies all their fancy food and asks only for bread, as the tower told her to do. She then tells Persephone that Aphrodite wants to borrow some anti-aging cream, which Persephone puts in a little box, sending Psyche on her way.Getting out of the underworld is no problem thanks to the advice of her sassy gay friend, who reminded her to take two coins for Charon and two bags of food for Cerberus, and soon enough she returns to the light of the world.

    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!)

    Longest description yet! Bear with me, lots of stuff is happening!

    After marathoning Desperate Housewives while eating an entire tub of ice cream, Psyche decides to get down to business and find Eros. She goes to the temple of Ceres, sees that it’s a mess, and cleans that shit up. The goddess Ceres appears, and she’s appreciative and all, but explains that she can’t help Psyche because Aphrodite still has a beef with her, and sometimes the gods like to actually avoid drama amongst themselves for a change.

    Psyche finds Juno at her temple and gets the same response. In fact, Juno warns her, Aphrodite is offering people a reward to go out and find her, presumably so she can call her a fugly slut to her face.

    It isn’t long before someone does manage to find Psyche and bring her to Aphrodite, who indeed calls her a fugly slut and beats her up for a bit. Then she tells Psyche she can only be forgiven if she completes a number of impossible tasks. No big deal, right?

    The first task is to separate a mass of scattered grains by nightfall. Psyche contemplates the consequences of just giving up and eating another tub of ice cream while marathoning RuPaul’s Drag Race, but a colony of ants, sympathetic to her plight, come and help her organize the mess grain-by-grain, and the task is completed on time.

    Aphrodite is like, INCONCEIVABLE!!! but goes on to explain the next impossible task: cross yonder river to that there forest full of bloodthirsty golden sheep and get me some of their blinged-out fleece. Oh, and they will kill you.

    But a little reed in the river offers her some advice: go at night, when the sheep are sleeping, and instead of taking the wool directly from them, take that which hangs on the thickets and bushes in the forest. Psyche does this, and brings back some blinged-out fleece to Aphrodite, who by this point really should reconsider her overuse of the word “impossible.”

    But she is persistent! Next, she tells Psyche to get a vial of water from the springs that feed the rivers Styx and Cocytus. Oh and btw, it’s guarded by dragons that never sleep.

    Blah blah blah, an eagle fills the vial for her, task is completed, blah etc.

    Aphrodite is about to explode. She tries to think of a really good task, one that will certainly end in death. The underworld is a good choice, right? People nevercome back from the underworld in myths, right? She tells Psyche to go to the underworld and bring back a box of Persephone’s beauty for her. (It’s like Botox, except less poisonous!)

    So Psyche has a moment of Stupid and decides that the easiest way to the underworld is to kill herself, so she climbs up to the top of a tower and prepares to throw herself off. But the tower itself speaks to her in the voice of Sassy Gay Friend: “WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU STUPID BITCH” and explains how to get in and out of the underworld unscathed, because inanimate things are apparently full of useful information.

    So she follows the tower’s directions, goes through some tunnel somewhere, and finds Charon, the ferryman of the river into the underworld. She pays him, and they go on their merry way, and she throws a bag of food to Cerberus so she won’t get mauled.

    Then she meets Hades and Persephone, and they have a nice dinner together, except Psyche denies all their fancy food and asks only for bread, as the tower told her to do. She then tells Persephone that Aphrodite wants to borrow some anti-aging cream, which Persephone puts in a little box, sending Psyche on her way.

    Getting out of the underworld is no problem thanks to the advice of her sassy gay friend, who reminded her to take two coins for Charon and two bags of food for Cerberus, and soon enough she returns to the light of the world.

    6. 3 months ago 4 notes
  6. text
    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!) Anyway, settle down, my children, it’s storytime!Having been convinced by her sisters that she’s been sleeping with a terrible serpent (you think she would’ve noticed that even without seeing him), Psyche resolves to discover the truth! The good news: when she holds a candle over her sleeping Mystery Husband, she finds that he is in fact Eros, a sex god in the most literal sense. The bad news: while she is busy drooling over him like a doofus (ogling sleeping people was apparently a popular pastime), her candle drips on him and wakes him up, and he’s all NOOOOO HOW COULD YOU and flies away. He is just that concerned about his mom not approving, I guess.The best part: following this debacle, Psyche goes to one of her sisters and tells her what happened. She then says that after leaving her, Eros wants to marry the sister instead. Go to the hilltop, she explains, and Zephyr will carry you to the palace like when you visited!Thrilled, the sister goes to the hilltop and waits to be carried away to the Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™. Then Psyche pushes her off the hill and she dies. Repeat all steps for sister #2.

    by Clavichord - the story of Eros & Psyche (w/ description from artist!)

    Anyway, settle down, my children, it’s storytime!

    Having been convinced by her sisters that she’s been sleeping with a terrible serpent (you think she would’ve noticed that even without seeing him), Psyche resolves to discover the truth! The good news: when she holds a candle over her sleeping Mystery Husband, she finds that he is in fact Eros, a sex god in the most literal sense. The bad news: while she is busy drooling over him like a doofus (ogling sleeping people was apparently a popular pastime), her candle drips on him and wakes him up, and he’s all NOOOOO HOW COULD YOU and flies away. He is just that concerned about his mom not approving, I guess.

    The best part: following this debacle, Psyche goes to one of her sisters and tells her what happened. She then says that after leaving her, Eros wants to marry the sister instead. Go to the hilltop, she explains, and Zephyr will carry you to the palace like when you visited!

    Thrilled, the sister goes to the hilltop and waits to be carried away to the Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™. Then Psyche pushes her off the hill and she dies. Repeat all steps for sister #2.

    7. 3 months ago 35 notes
  7. text
    by Clavichord - the story of Eros and Psyche (w/ description from artist!) So what exactly goes down in the Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™, you may wonder? Well, first, a staff of enchanted invisible servants treats her to a magnificent feast complete with live music. (I am completely serious here—this myth is the basis for the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale, after all!)But what doesn’t have a Disney musical number is what happens every night, when Psyche’s captor and mystery husband visits her in the dark and sleeps with her. So she never sees him and has no idea who he is. It’s, you know, just a tad weird, but she’s totally into it.Anyway, one day she tells Mystery Husband she misses her family (even though they, uh, left her on a hilltop to die?) so he gets Zephyr to bring her sisters for a brief visit. They arrive at this magnificent palace full of invisible servants shoving piles of delicious food at them and, understandably, get quite jealous. So, being jealous bitches, they convince Psyche that Mystery Husband is actually a terrible serpent who’s going to devour her, and insist that she discover his identity while he’s asleep. He’s already told her once or twice that this is a Very Bad Idea, but hey, it’s reasonable to want to know who you’re shacking up with, and how suspicious is that anyway? Quite suspicious.In conclusion, the theme song for this picture: DAT BOY IS A MONSTER, MUH MUH MUH MONSTUH 

    by Clavichord - the story of Eros and Psyche (w/ description from artist!)

    So what exactly goes down in the Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™, you may wonder? Well, first, a staff of enchanted invisible servants treats her to a magnificent feast complete with live music. (I am completely serious here—this myth is the basis for the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale, after all!)

    But what doesn’t have a Disney musical number is what happens every night, when Psyche’s captor and mystery husband visits her in the dark and sleeps with her. So she never sees him and has no idea who he is. It’s, you know, just a tad weird, but she’s totally into it.

    Anyway, one day she tells Mystery Husband she misses her family (even though they, uh, left her on a hilltop to die?) so he gets Zephyr to bring her sisters for a brief visit. They arrive at this magnificent palace full of invisible servants shoving piles of delicious food at them and, understandably, get quite jealous. So, being jealous bitches, they convince Psyche that Mystery Husband is actually a terrible serpent who’s going to devour her, and insist that she discover his identity while he’s asleep. He’s already told her once or twice that this is a Very Bad Idea, but hey, it’s reasonable to want to know who you’re shacking up with, and how suspicious is that anyway? Quite suspicious.

    In conclusion, the theme song for this picture: DAT BOY IS A MONSTER, MUH MUH MUH MONSTUH :icongagaplz:

    8. 3 months ago 1 note
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    by Clavichord - the story of Eros and Psyche (w/ description from artist!) Remember how Aphrodite cursed Psyche so no man would ever want to marry her? Well, now her family doesn’t know what to do with her, because what do you do with a woman who can’t get hitched and pop out babies? You put her on the top of a hill and leave her there to die. Yes, that’s right.Fortunately for her, Eros has slipped through a loophole in that curse (he’s a god, not a man, ohoho) so he sends Zephyr, the west wind, to spirit her away to his Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™!

    by Clavichord - the story of Eros and Psyche (w/ description from artist!)

    Remember how Aphrodite cursed Psyche so no man would ever want to marry her? Well, now her family doesn’t know what to do with her, because what do you do with a woman who can’t get hitched and pop out babies? You put her on the top of a hill and leave her there to die. Yes, that’s right.

    Fortunately for her, Eros has slipped through a loophole in that curse (he’s a god, not a man, ohoho) so he sends Zephyr, the west wind, to spirit her away to his Secret Palatial Pleasure Cave™!

    9. 3 months ago 5 notes
  9. text
    by Clavichord- I’m including her commentary because it’s just priceless! Now gather ‘round for storytime!  So there’s this girl Psyche and she’s basically the hottest mortal in all of the Greco-Roman world. She’s so hot, people start worshipping her instead of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. Aphrodite gets mighty pissed and curses Psyche so that no man will ever want to marry her, and then for good measure she sends her son Eros to shoot Psyche with one of his magic arrows while she’s sleeping so that she’ll fall in love with a hideous beast upon waking. Eros goes off to do just that, but when he sees her he’s like omg no she’s too hot and then, busy drooling over her like a doofus, accidentally pricks himself with one of his own arrows and is instantly smitten. ~*~*~*2 B CONTINUED!!!!*~**~*~

    by Clavichord- I’m including her commentary because it’s just priceless!

    Now gather ‘round for storytime!

     So there’s this girl Psyche and she’s basically the hottest mortal in all of the Greco-Roman world. She’s so hot, people start worshipping her instead of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. Aphrodite gets mighty pissed and curses Psyche so that no man will ever want to marry her, and then for good measure she sends her son Eros to shoot Psyche with one of his magic arrows while she’s sleeping so that she’ll fall in love with a hideous beast upon waking.

    Eros goes off to do just that, but when he sees her he’s like omg no she’s too hot and then, busy drooling over her like a doofus, accidentally pricks himself with one of his own arrows and is instantly smitten.

    ~*~*~*2 B CONTINUED!!!!*~**~*~

    10. 3 months ago 1 note
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    Stirring things up today- with the illustrated tale of Eros & Psyche as told/illustrated by Clavichord. I thought it rather fitting for all the trials and tribulations of love- or lack there of! Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day!

    Stirring things up today- with the illustrated tale of Eros & Psyche as told/illustrated by Clavichord. I thought it rather fitting for all the trials and tribulations of love- or lack there of!

    Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day!

    11. 3 months ago 6 notes
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    by Staje

    by Staje

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    by Faxtar

    by Faxtar

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    by Barukurii

    by Barukurii

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    by postapocalypsia

    by postapocalypsia

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    by hayoubi

    by hayoubi

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